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Starting to realise that a lot of the negative emotions that I’ve been experiencing is due to a poor self esteem. For two years. If only I could buy one.

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It’s 11.52pm. A failed attempt to on my comp and to see what I can do for work. It’s become a part of me; to feel bad when work is not done and I can bring it home and I don’t like this feeling, not one bit. I spent music rehearsal today with my mind in space and nearing the end of the 2h practice I realised I was suppose to be worshipping God. And I feel like I’ve lived the entire 2014 in this state.

It’s 11.52pm. A failed attempt to on my comp and to see what I can do for work. It’s become a part of me; to feel bad when work is not done and I can bring it home and I don’t like this feeling, not one bit. I spent music rehearsal today with my mind in space and nearing the end of the 2h practice I realised I was suppose to be worshipping God. And I feel like I’ve lived the entire 2014 in this state.

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friday ended on an extremely trying note. things have been on my mind for ages, like a pebble on cellophane i can only react by stretching and s t r e t c h i n g :
more and more thinking then made me realise how unfair i’ve been to God. where is my faith? who do I trust in? is not His power far more vast, than all my worries even when it’s crammed in a tiny room of my mind and nothing seems possible?
my God is far greater than that. even if everything ends badly, i know that it is for my own good; and that should be more than enough. that should be all i need.

friday ended on an extremely trying note. things have been on my mind for ages, like a pebble on cellophane i can only react by stretching and s t r e t c h i n g :

more and more thinking then made me realise how unfair i’ve been to God. where is my faith? who do I trust in? is not His power far more vast, than all my worries even when it’s crammed in a tiny room of my mind and nothing seems possible?

my God is far greater than that. even if everything ends badly, i know that it is for my own good; and that should be more than enough. that should be all i need.

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Today i asked God to pull me thru the night. With the help of two friends, He did. Why do I doubt You ever O Lord. You

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Nights that end with a ringing in my ears because of your screaming, hibernating in my bed to minimize contact

A to do list is necessary

1. Read Ezekial 36
2. Go through work stuff
3. If my eyes don’t fail me, X men First Class
@
Lord, I am so glad that I still have you to count on in situations like this.

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I’ve led an extremely extremely charmed Easter weekend. We had band practice on Friday and on Saturday (thank you God for holding us from 11-4pm), had the chance to meet up with the girlies and today though I really wanted to go home to sleep after church I couldn’t pass up a coffee at a cafe nearby. I bought a book and Time mag, and am surrounded once again by the awesome set of ST newspapers (I know this sounds so nerdy but I look forward to my Sunday news). I think all this is made possible by the fact that I refused to bring work home cos I knew I’d be busy with church, but this does mean that I need to face the storm tmr. And as always, I’m thankful for having a happy heart to face work everyday. It’s nearly 6 months into my job now and I’m still learning so much. I’m thankful.

The slight problem that lies with such awesome restful weekends is the difficulty in remembering God and remembering that the life we lead can have pleasure, but to me it’s almost like it should have pain as we tell of your Gospel. I aim to tell it to someone tonight, God may you prevail and may I simply follow.

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Get the better of it

My greatest fear now has the reason to officially be known as yeah, a fear. 

But jia lin.  you have the power, the power, to always pick yourself up and try again.

today i taste God’s goodness, and also the strength to lift my hands even in waters. let me constantly lift it up for you.

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Father, I thank you for your grace each day. May I be ever sensitive to it, to be ever thankful for You, and in difficulty Lord that I’m able to lift you on high Lord, Father to know that you are my God Lord. May you strengthen me but in a wAy that i would know this strength comes from You.

Father, I thank you for your grace each day. May I be ever sensitive to it, to be ever thankful for You, and in difficulty Lord that I’m able to lift you on high Lord, Father to know that you are my God Lord. May you strengthen me but in a wAy that i would know this strength comes from You.