Stasis

I originally had a much brighter topic to blog about.. but on that particular day I fell really ill...

Fri, 24 May 2013 11:27:58 -0400

I originally had a much brighter topic to blog about.. but on that particular day I fell really ill and I’m still sick.

But that’s not what is stopping me from being cheery and blogging.

What is would be a state of mind that gripped me pretty hard today. It was such a clear, profound state of being, like that scene in A Single Man that talks about that one moment of clarity - everything you know and everything you have experienced falls into its perfect holes of place and space.

In that moment, during my team meeting for my Nagoya mission trip, a particular person that was bothering me for very long didn’t bother me that much anymore. In this moment, I knew I could do without you, I was still fine. Struggling with a rather depressing message from another friend of mine, strangely I still felt okay although I wished I had the right words to say.

Just little moments that I want to jot down.

But to the friend who is currently grieving: this might not mean much, but my heart grieves with you.

i think i had a lot more faith in you saying the right things. would the most impt point then be;...

Sat, 18 May 2013 11:53:04 -0400

i think i had a lot more faith in you saying the right things.

would the most impt point then be; listening?

and why was it hard for me to share it in the first place?

questions.. that i have no answer to but will continually feel uneasy about.

a dear friend of mine once shared her logic with me on the idea of waiting. not that im gonna share...

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:13:13 -0400

a dear friend of mine once shared her logic with me on the idea of waiting. not that im gonna share it here (lest she think it’s inappropriate), but sometimes i think waiting is similar to the process of a slow, slow burn. the challenge is to endure it to your finest, to be refined, and ultimately you come out like gold.

on the other hand.. some of us turn out a bit charred. looking nothing like the product we intended to be. a bit weary, a bit malleable perhaps from being in the fire, searing, for so long.

i find myself in between.

lylaandblu: exams have ended 3 days ago. and i feel like im...

Wed, 15 May 2013 14:17:49 -0400

lylaandblu:

exams have ended 3 days ago. and i feel like im going through the motions of ending. that basically means that i’ve transformed into a sloth. disguised by that pair of pretty hands adorned with jewellery but not really i am a SLOTH.

everytime i touched my phone today i’d lie on my bed and surf YT and fb and insta for like 45 minutes. and that has literally occurred like 4 times today. i managed to clean up my desk for close to an hour and do a nonsense 7 minute workout and search for devotions… but i didnt do so many other things. i was supposed to spend the night on an essay competition and planning the meeting im co-chairing tmr. SO MANY THINGS SO LITTLE TIME. on top of that i need to learn to get the hang of ironing, cooking and washing clothes from my mum. relearning things that i learnt before exchange -.-

EVERYDAY. I NEED TO PRAY. WHEN I GET UP. FOR MOTIVATION AND DISCIPLINE.

h8 ending the day tired, and more importantly, unproductive.

13 more days to nagoya.

barely 2 days and i feel like it’s been a week. but it hasn’t.

Sun, 12 May 2013 11:32:25 -0400

barely 2 days and i feel like it’s been a week. but it hasn’t.

currently a little disheartened before my last exam. i wanted to tweet but i dont know. people...

Thu, 09 May 2013 08:21:01 -0400

currently a little disheartened before my last exam. i wanted to tweet but i dont know. people overthink tweets sometimes (and whose to blame? the tweeter should be held responsible).

Lord be my joy, my portion, my strength. may my weariness, my exhaustion, my sadness, some sort of inexplicable pain find joy in you. Please take it all away. Thank you.

5 more hours.

auntiespaz: Poor little guy looks like he’s saying “You want me...

Thu, 02 May 2013 12:33:16 -0400

auntiespaz:

Poor little guy looks like he’s saying

“You want me to leave? Okay…”

“You sure you want me to go? ‘cause I can stay…if you want…”

humansofnewyork: “When my husband was dying, I said: ‘Moe, how...

Thu, 02 May 2013 12:31:20 -0400

humansofnewyork:

“When my husband was dying, I said: ‘Moe, how am I supposed to live without you?’ He told me: ‘Take the love you have for me and spread it around.’”

Tonight's prayer

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 14:00:24 -0400

“I have so many sins Lord.
Don’t pick, but take them all Lord.”

Pull out my jealous heart, let me see how ugly I am with it and how grotesquely unhappy I am about it. It is our grudges, our jealous sides, all of which that obstruct our right to be happy everyday.

"And they make the greatest mistake of all by seeking to know God rather than loving him. For God can..."

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 13:50:47 -0400

“And they make the greatest mistake of all by seeking to know God rather than loving him. For God can never be fully known in this life but he can devoutly and ardently loved. Loving God always brings us happiness, knowing him sometimes cause misery: witness the demons in hell who know God and tremble. We cannot love what is entirely unknown but it suffices to know God and and virtue to the extent that it is granted us. Then we know God to be the most radiant, savory, charming and inexhaustible source of every good thing, from whom, through whom, and in whom we become as good as we can be. And we know that virtue is the best thing after God. Knowing this, we shall love and worship God in himself with all our heart and being and we shall love virtue for Gods sake.”

- Petrarch on His Own Ignorance

This reading has been long but some parts really do stand out.

(via slowlightfading)

1) TEARS ARE FOR THE WEAK 2) But this is a lot, a lot harder than you’d think. In a way...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 11:16:08 -0400

1) TEARS ARE FOR THE WEAK

2) But this is a lot, a lot harder than you’d think. In a way I’m glad this is occurring without you, and therefore, the more, God.

The Dance: Old and New

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 12:36:32 -0400

The Dance: Old and New :

slowlightfading:

Old friends back in Philly - grabbed coffee with Daryl today and it was great to have so much to share in just two months - personal and SGP and goodness of God just all round :) When I think back to the conversation we had on Friday of fling last year, I can say….I much prefer this one :) Old…

I wish I could leave a comment on this but I can’t so I’m reblogging it :P Just wanna say I really, really love this post. From the act cool debater to doing what you like rather than what feels right in your mind. I’ve been struggling with this bit too, and I hope you will find your direction for you in the end cel! (: God speed.

this is requiring… me to understand what i have requested of God a lot more. He has given me...

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 12:32:58 -0400

this is requiring… me to understand what i have requested of God a lot more.

He has given me what I asked and… I thought i could handle this easily since I’ve done it before. But my goodness. This is a lot harder than I thought it to be.

I do not require more faith, as I wrongly mentioned on my Twitter. I require the UNDERSTANDING, of faith. Of perseverance. Of God’s strength.

You are God.

One of those days where you feel shitty on end. But I will grasp on to the other end of the shit...

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 05:51:24 -0400

One of those days where you feel shitty on end.

But I will grasp on to the other end of the shit stick. The one that has You, God, in perspective, and would not see this as shit at all.

Teach me how to be happy for at least a while God. Crank my head in the right direction & be my discipline.

today has been a crazy day. i think im learning a lot about the way im framing my life, my...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 13:36:00 -0400

today has been a crazy day. i think im learning a lot about the way im framing my life, my perspectives towards my career prospects, and how I see You in my life God. I want to see you whole-ly, complete-ly, in full control of this ship i’m steering but each and everytime i peer at the wheel… it’s me. and only me steering it.

while i have tried to let go and trust you, is this only on the surface Lord? why are so many of my actions suddenly showing subtle indifferences towards You? You who have provided me to where I am today for which I owe nothing and simply nothing to myself.

my heart is a little weary, my eyes all the more.

please take the wheel and in fact, make my ship like noah’s. without any wheel, but only with Your guidance.

i want to wake up everyday and to truly understand what it means to understand the blessings that withhold each and every day, how your mercies, are new every day.

let the words that i say of encouragement to others, be of encouragement to myself as well.

please teach me how to bear my little cross for You, please guide me as I do my best to follow You and learn from Your ways. most of all, please teach me how to trust in You. my life, entire life, long lesson.

http://youtu.be/oyVJsg0XIIk Can’t help but to think of...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 07:16:13 -0400

http://youtu.be/oyVJsg0XIIk

Can’t help but to think of Gotye as a guy who knows what he’s doing in life.

Then again, how are we able to walk with our eyes wide open and our hearts wide open. So, so tough.

i’m not sure how much of this i can take. i know i said to let go, i know i didnt care and i...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 11:33:06 -0400

i’m not sure how much of this i can take.

i know i said to let go, i know i didnt care and i thought my sense of indifference would last

but i feel like im running on single strands of silence and im trying to pull on each string for attention without speaking without screaming without making a sound

i will pull. and one day it will break.

while i’m glad i managed to somehow tell the truth… the outcome stings more than my...

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 08:21:19 -0400

while i’m glad i managed to somehow tell the truth… the outcome stings more than my conscience.

Photo

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 01:13:26 -0400

Photo

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 01:12:41 -0400